


It's Not Your Fault (But It Is Mine)

by i_kinda_like_writing



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e09 Party Guessed, Hallucinations, Pack Bonding, Pack Family, Pre-Slash, Sheriff Stilinski Feels, The Pack is Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 14:50:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2696951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_kinda_like_writing/pseuds/i_kinda_like_writing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They talk about it months later. Months after Jackson is healed and Gerard is gone they talk about it. It wasn’t planned or anything, it had been a normal pack night at the loft. Playing board games and watching movies. Truth be told they were a little tipsy. Erica had snuck some brandy out of her mom’s liquor cabinet and Lydia had made a batch with wolfsbane in it for the ‘wolves. Scott had snorted, looking into his glass and brought up the last time Lydia had made them drinks with wolfsbane in it.</p>
<p>*~*~*</p>
<p>The pack talks about their hallucinations at Lydia's party in Party Guessed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Your Fault (But It Is Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a post I saw where someone talked about how Stiles just took everything that was said to him while the others tried to reply.  
> I hope you enjoy!

They talk about it months later. Months after Jackson is healed and Gerard is gone they talk about it. It wasn’t planned or anything, it had been a normal pack night at the loft. Playing board games and watching movies. Truth be told they were a little tipsy. Erica had snuck some brandy out of her mom’s liquor cabinet and Lydia had made a batch with wolfsbane in it for the ‘wolves. Scott had snorted, looking into his glass and brought up the last time Lydia had made them drinks with wolfsbane in it.

“I hallucinated when I drank that stuff.” He says, giggling just a little. Stiles stiffens, sobering a little at the mention of that night. The night he blocked from his mind in fear of believing it. Allison head perks up from under Scott’s arm.

“Me too!” She says, eyes wide like this is amazing and awe invoking. The brandy probably has something to do with that, though.

“Me three.” Jackson mumbles from under Lydia. Apparently he was a good cushion so Lydia always-and it was really _always_ \- sat in his lap.

“I saw myself.” Allison says, eyes still wide. “I had on this black hood. I was carrying a bow and I shot myself. I had been calling out for Scott to come and then she-I- shot me.” She pauses for a second. “She-She called me pathetic for always yelling for help.”

“So, you were talking to it?” Erica asks. “Didn’t anyone think you were nuts?” Allison shakes her head.

"They probably thought I was just drunk.” She shrugs. Scott sits up.

“I saw the kanima.” Jackson stiffens but Lydia grabs his head and he relaxes. “I followed him up the stairs and…” Scott trails off, thinking about it, trying to remember. “It was kissing Allison. I got so mad I tried to attack it.” It gets a little quiet after that.

“I saw my birth parents.” Jackson finally says. “They were looking for me. I-then everyone stopped and stared at me. They turned around and-and their faces were blank. Then suddenly my face was blank. I couldn’t see it or anything, I just felt it. I shouted at them to go away and then-then it was all gone.” Lydia squeezes his hand and it goes quiet again.

“Hey, Stiles, you were there that night too, right?” Scott asks. Stiles’ head snaps up.

“What?”

“Did you drink the punch?” Isaac asks. Stiles looks around the room at all of these faces, open and not judging. Maybe he can talk about it; maybe he can get it off his chest.

“Yeah, uh, I was there. I drank the stuff.” Maybe it’s the alcohol talking on second thought.

“What happened?” Erica asks. Stiles looks down at his fingers.

“It-it was my dad.” He says. “Some kid was asking him why he was wearing black and he started yelling at the kid, talking about how he just came from a funeral. He-he shoved the kid away and I saw that he-he had a bottle of whiskey in his hand. And he turned to me and raised the bottle to me and said;

 

_It’s you. It’s all you. You know, every day I saw her lying in that hospital slowly dying, I thought “How the hell am I supposed to raise this stupid kid on my own? This hyperactive little bastard who keeps ruining my life!” It’s all you. It’s you **Stiles**. _

 

“And he pointed the bottle at me and finished;

 

_You killed your mother. You hear me? You killed her._

_And now you’re killing me._

 

“Then he-then he threw the bottle at me, I ducked, and he disappeared.” Stiles finishes. No one says anything and when he looks up, they’re shocked. They’re gaping at him like they can’t understand what he’s saying.

“What-what did you do?” Isaac finally asks.

“What do you mean?” Stiles scrunches his face at Isaac.

“Allison talked to it, Scott tried to attack it, and Jackson yelled at it. What did you do?” He asks. Stiles shrugs and looks down at his fingers.

“Took it, I guess.” It goes back to a light mood after that. They finish Monopoly and everyone starts heading home. Stiles begins to clean up like he always does after pack nights when Derek speaks up.

“You remembered.” He looks up to see Derek in the corner. He was getting something from the kitchen to clean but he must have stopped when he realized Stiles was the only one left.

“What?”

“You remembered exactly what it said to you.” Derek takes a few steps forward. “You agree with it.” Stiles sighs and shakes his head, getting back to cleaning up.

“I really don’t think you’re one to give the “It’s not your fault” speech.” He says, bringing the plates into the kitchen. Derek follows him.

“What exactly do I think is my fault?” Stiles stands up straighter and sends Derek a look.

“The fire. You think it was your fault because of Kate.” Derek flinches at the name. He didn’t think Stiles knew.

“Have you…?” Derek trails off.

“I didn’t tell anyone. I won’t tell anyone.” Stiles walks over and starts putting away the games and movies. “So let’s make a deal.” Stiles finally says after he puts everything away. He gets up and walks over so he’s standing in front of Derek. “I don’t try to convince you it wasn’t your fault and you don’t try to convince me it wasn’t my fault and we let ourselves believe what we do for the sake of our sanity.”

Stiles sticks his hand out. Derek shakes it.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
